You've got to hand it to Democratic Party fundraisers. They don't care who they let walk their donkey.
Never mind that I'm the editor of a conservative Florida website, I just received my seventh plea for a handout from a star Dem. Hey, they must like me.
I log on and, whoaaa -- imagine -- Barack Obama writing to me! Bill Clinton writing to me! Michelle Obama writing to me! Day after day since the Democratic Convention started in Charlotte. Even Joe Biden loves me.
Drip, drip, drip. It's like Chinese torture but with that odd little celebrity wow factor.
Now, I'm pretty clued-in to the sophistication of political fundraising. I realize it's a thriving industry in which technical advances are growing like European Frankenfoods. And I realize, to lure a buck, the Republicans are doing a lot of the same thing, working some of the same intrusive strategies.
But, I'll bet my bottom dollar GOP fundraisers aren't swamping filmmaker Michael Moore's email. I'll bet they don't send lefty comedian Bill Maher a "donate today" text before 8 in the morning. They wouldn't waste their time. They would know they'll never wring blood out of those turnips.
Same way the Democrats should know I'm not going to give a drop of my blood either.
Have a look at my celeb mail. You don't think these high-powered Obama folks just want my money, do you? Surely you can't think they're going to forget all about me after the election.
I smell desperation.
I think the Democrats are so behind in the money game, so ticked at the lethargic, out-of-gas donors who gave so big four years ago, that -- unable to squeeze another $3 or $300 out of loyal donors -- they're like sharks in a fished-out sea.
It was sometime during late August when Obama fundraising emails started drifting into the twilight zone -- particularly a pair to party members that displayed increasing signs of doom to ramp up donations.
The first, addressed to supporters from Vice President Joe Biden, was titled, simply, "This is how we could lose the election."
Here it is:
"Three months in a row, Mitt Romney and the Republican Party have trounced our fundraising totals. And, along with allied outside groups, they're using that cash to try to obliterate our side on the airwaves, outspending us in some battleground states by margins of up to three to one. ..."
Biden ends with this post"script:
"I've seen a lot of good campaigns -- with smart, strong candidates and bold visions for the change we need -- go down, simply because they couldn't keep up. Don't let this campaign be one of them. Donate today."
Then, just minutes later came a Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee email from Democratic strategist James Carville. In it, Carville sends a warning to supporters:
"There's no way around it -- combine all this tea party money with all that Koch Brothers Super PAC cash, and were in danger of letting this thing get out of hand.
We've gotta close the gap and fight back before its too late. ..."
Oh, yes, and not included in the attached pile of email is this note fired to my inbox seconds before Obama took the stage Thursday night.
It was from "Barack" and Barack called me his friend:
"Before I go on stage to accept the nomination, there's one thing I need to say: Thank you. It's because you've got my back that I'm here. And if we win this, it will be because of you, too.Can you pitch in $15 or more right now?https://donate.barackobama.com/Tonight.I can't tell you how grateful I am.Barack.
"P.S. -- This is my last campaign, and knowing you're with me means everything. I can't do this without you."
I bet I've got another one of these things waiting for me when I log on Friday morning. But from whom will it come? We've got an office pool going. I say Gabby Giffords. Other guesses are John Kerry and Barack, again.
The bottom line is this: I'll walk the Dems' donkey all over creation and back. But they should never, ever expect me to feed it.
Reach Nancy Smith at nsmith@sunshinestatenews.com or at (850) 727-0859.
