Get thee behind me, Satan! When socialist presidential candidate Bernie Sanders said that in so many words, he was referring to billionaires. He was campaigning to ban their influence from politics.
Funny thing is, Sanders has a big fan who took him literally.
Los Angeles lawyer Eric C. Jacobson wants billionaires to get behind his man all right -- the more the merrier -- and if billionaires are satanic, what the hell (pardon the pun) ... He wants Sanders to win.
So what did Jacobson do? On Wednesday he filed a super-PAC with the Federal Election Commission and called it "Billionaires for Bernie."
Is there such a thing -- billionaires ready to throw their money behind a socialist? No problem, Jacobson says.
“I’m hoping to facilitate a level playing field where a billionaire of conscience can write a check … and I’m going to encourage them to do it,” he told The Washington Post on Thursday.
Now, wait a minute. If I'm reading this right, billionaires who might give money to Sanders have a conscience, unlike billionaires who give to Jeb or Hillary -- they have no conscience? Is that it?
Too bad Jacobson has to change the PAC's name, because "Billionaires for Bernie" has a ring to it. Unlike Patriots for Truth or Americans for a Brighter Tomorrow or other such meaningless, cheesecake names, "Billionaires for Bernie" is one of those rare creatures in PAC World that means exactly what it says. You know what you've got there. You know if you've got six donors in this PAC, you've got six ultra-liberal-loving billionaires. Easy peasy.
On the other hand, six ultra-liberal-loving billionaires with Jacobson's faith in Sanders? I'm a little skeptical here.
But no matter what, "Billionaires for Bernie" as a name has to go. The Federal Election Commission won't let such a name stand: Unaffiliated PACs can't use the candidate's name in the title. That's the rules.
I feel a little sorry for Eric Jacobson, to tell you the truth. I'd really like to help him out. I came up with a handful of super-PAC name suggestions he might consider. How about one of these, just to stir the thought processes a bit. How about ...
- The no-frills alternative: "Billionaires against the Democrat and Republican PAC" -- a no-name, generic alternative; keeps Jacobson's in-your-face flavor.
- The code-word alternative: "Jingle Jingle Wink Wink PAC" -- "jingle jingle" is code for billions, "wink wink" is code for "Can't say it, but Bernie gets the money."
- The Sanders-pleaser alternative No. 1: "Socialist-Loving Tycoons and Tyrants PAC" -- appeals to mascochistic billionaires with a deep need to be treated like dirt.
- The Sanders-pleaser alternative No. 2: "Billionaires Who Want to Go Straight PAC" -- straight from what, it matters not; appeals to billionaires who deep, deep down feel guilty for something -- anything. Bernie Sanders gets a chance to rehabilitate them while riding to Washington on their shoulders.
- The Sanders-pleaser alternative No. 3: "Billionaires for Socialism PAC" -- appeals to ... um ... appeals to ... aw, scratch this one.
Jacobson described himself to the Post as a progressive who likes Sanders because he’s “unbossed and unbought.” But, says the Post, "to get Sanders to the White House means competing at the levels of a Hillary Clinton or Jeb Bush. And in today’s politics, that takes money."
Jacobson disagrees with the liberals’ general position against unlimited contributions in politics, but he doesn't cite First Amendment reasons. He simply claims it limits liberals' ability to compete.
He even mentioned one billionaire target on his radar -- Ronda Stryker, a Michigan philanthropist who believes in liberal causes. Too bad Stryker has a bad opinion of partisan politics and is unlikely to give a dime in Election '16, says the Post.
Never mind that Sanders said on "Face the Nation" in May, the Citizens United “decision is undermining American democracy." Never mind that he said, "I do not believe that billionaires should be able to buy politicians.”
Jacobson is the Energizer bunny, undeterred. "This will be "a very unaffiliated effort," he says. He thinks Bernie Sanders doesn't have to deal with billionaires, he only has to take their money.
Is that a vision that would attract you if you were a billionaire? Jacobson apparently doesn't see why not.
Reach Nancy Smith at nsmith@sunshinestatenews.com or at 228-282-2423. Twitter: @NancyLBSmith
