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My Donald Trump Fantasy Cabinet-Pick Game

April 13, 2016 - 11:30pm

With recent comments by Donald Trump about who he’d consider being his running mate, it made me think about what a Trump Cabinet might look like if he selected only from his competitors.

So, I thought, if I did take the 14 original GOP Presidential candidates and matched them to a Cabinet-level agency, it could make for some interesting combinations and great talk around the water cooler.

Then, if I added Sarah Palin, just to give this fantasy game a new dimension, I’ve got a full set of “nominees” for the Cabinet. And for good measure, let’s thrown in the U.N. slot.

Finally, I’ve identified who “could” (C) be the best agency nominee and then who “should” (S) actually get the job.

So, let’s get going:

STATE            C:  Kasich  ...  he’s the grown-up in the room
                       S:  Bush  ... he already knows many of the world’s leaders

TREASURY        C:  Fiorina ...   she’s good with numbers and she’d be the 1st woman
                           S:  Kasich ...  he’s the only one to balance the federal budget

DEFENSE        C:  Perry ...  he’s got lots of military bases in his state and he looks tough
                         S:  Graham ...  he’s a USAF Reserve colonel and he bleeds for the military

ATTORNEY GENERAL      C:  Graham ... well, at least he’s a lawyer
                                           S:  Christie  ...  strong U.S. attorney; can manage bridge investigations

INTERIOR        C:  Palin  ... she’s from Alaska, which has lots of interior space
                         S:  Palin ...  come on, she’d scare the greenies, which is poetic justice!

AGRICULTURE        C:  Walker  ...  they grow a lot of corn in Wisconsin
                                  S:  Huckabee  ...  he helped to grow Wal-Mart in Arkansas

COMMERCE        C:  Christie  ...  New Jersey has lots of international companies based there
                              S:  Fiorina ...  she knows how to work a boardroom

LABOR            C:  Graham ...   South Carolina is strong on right-to-work labor
                         S:  Santorum  ...  why not? he needs a job somewhere

HHS                 C:  Carson ...  Duh!
                         S:  Carson ...  Double duh!

HUD            C:  Huckabee ... Arkansas needs more housing with running water and electricity
                     S:  Pataki ...  New York’s got all of the HUD money and housing already

TRANSPORTATION    C:  Pataki  ... New Yorkers know all about traffic congestion and trains
                                     S:  Walker  ... Good job for a good governor

ENERGY/EPA        C:  Santorum    he’s got lots of shale oil in Pennsylvania
                               S:  Jindal ...  he’s got lots of refineries in Louisiana

EDUCATION         C:  Bush  ...  his signature issue as Florida governor
                               S:  Perry ...  he wants to educate everyone, including immigrants

VETERAN AFFAIRS    C:  Gilmore ...  he’s an Army veteran
                                    S:  Paul  ...  he was a USAF flight surgeon

HOMELAND SECURITY    C:  Paul ... he’s certainly not an internationalist
                                            S:  Gilmore ...  he was an Army counterintelligence agent

U.N. AMBASSADOR     C:  Rubio ...  he speaks Spanish
                                        S:  Rubio ... he’s multicultural -- from Cuba, then to Las Vegas, then to Florida

So, where did I get it right?  Wrong?  What selections for what agencies would you make?


Barney Bishop III, one of the most familiar faces within the state business community, is CEO of Barney Bishop Consulting LLC in Tallahassee.

Comments

Was hoping this would catch on. The heck with fantasy. Lets try a little reality. I will act as if I am the government. I need to find a job for Ty and Honus. I have it! I will create two new departments and they can each head one. Ty will be in charge of the Batting Department. Honus the head of Infield Prowess. Ain't that how it's done? Soon they will employ 20,000 grossly overpaid federal employees that can't be fired. Budget should run about 50 billion. (that is together - no wasteful spending here!)

Allen West for Undersecretary of the Army.

Sunshine State must be hurting for content when they publish anything by this pay for play clown. Guess he's still riding that AIF wave...

I agree with you , Dan. Stupid column.

You missed just one; Hillary Clinton for Gitmo guard.

With the exception of Carson (HHS), Palin (Interior) & Christie (AG), I'd go for some fresh, non-political faces, tap the military and business sectors.

Well, Tim, you certainly took all the fun out of that. I was searching for a spot for Honus Wagner and Ty Cobb.

As long as this is fantasy. Andrew Jackson for president. Granted Obama busying himself taking Andy off the $20 bill to be replaced by a Negress of some variety, but Andy was a warrior chief. That's what we need. Vice prez another no brainer. Curtis Le May, hands down. Curt has the war time experience teaching the Japs a thing or two about what a real war looks like. Plus, he has experience running for vice prez in the past. Sec State should be John Bolton. (you don't have to be dead to may MY list!) Sec of Defense. John Bolton. He can handle both jobs. The guy is brilliant. Sec of Treasury..another no brainer..Steve Forbes. Attorney General. Another no brainer. Elihu Root. Might be the smartest guy in the room. Sec of Interior. No brainer. Aldo Leopold. Sec of Ag...Mickey Mantle from his 1956 Triple Crown year, when he still had wheels. Mickey could do it all and he was from Oklahoma, a big ag state. VA...George Marshall. Only guy in the room that might be as smart as Root. Homeland Security. John Bolton. He could do it. Probably surround himself with really, really smart people. UN Ambassador. Won't need one since we will throw that communist front out of the country and quit paying for it and quit pretending it is anything but the cesspool viper nest it is. Let the Donald develop the prime NYC real estate. Commerce, Labor, HHS, HUD, Education, Energy and Education will all be eliminated. Stupid, ineffective political boondoggles, every one. Well, kids, there it is and I think it is a might fine list.

All I can say is, go DONALD.

Barney, what C Breeze said! GO TRUMP!

I vote yours the best comment. :) Go Trump!

Great Read and very well laid out Mr. Bishop. We have fantasy football leagues why not have fantasy cabinet picks?!

Barney, the fact that SSN gives you this kind of space to editorialize is to THEIR credit since you are a "known entity" in their "Tallassee bubble"; but you are one dimensionable Barney, and spend far too much time on inane triviality such as this, in hopes in might possibly "get legs" and someone (anyone) just might entertain YOUR fantasies... (If this is an example of your "consulting" talent,.. I think you just "shot yourself in the foot"...for all to see...)

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