Martin County residents apparently need more things to be afraid of this summer. Sewage and other polluting runoff in their waterways aren't enough.
Now the clever folks at the Parks and Recreation Department in this Treasure Coast county are saying, for good measure let's scare the pants off people who want to spend a few hours at the beach.
They've introduced what they call their "trash-free parks program."
"Trash-free." Could there be a better example of a useless euphemism? Or a silly misnomer?
"Trash-free" in Martin's case means the Parks Department is going to remove the trash cans from 22 of the county's parks and beaches. They're putting park patrons on the honor system to bring a bag with them, collect up all their trash and take it home when they leave.
I'm not kidding. It's happening now.
"We're going to save a lot of tax dollars through not as much waste collection and our residents pay that anyway at their homes so it's not going to be any extra burden for them," Martin County Parks and Recreation Director Kevin Abbate told Treasure Coast station WPTV-Channel 5.
Abbate loves that not having to pick up trash will free up county workers for other park projects.
He said, "We spend so much time taking care of trash cans that we sometimes are neglecting some of our other duties, which are pressure washing picnic tables and making our parks what they should be, pristine."
So, let's see. Abbate wants pristine parks but no trash collection. He believes the Parks Department can handle all the tidying up it will need with a quick "pick-stick" walk-through in the morning.
Pardon my cynicism.
I want to believe all Floridians -- even the well-heeled folks who live in one of the state's fanciest real estate markets -- are truly the considerate Florida stewards we would think.
I want to believe there are no slobs -- no forgetful families, no people who don't want to ride an hour home with dirty diapers in a hot car, no ill-equipped young people who stop at the beach on a whim, no folks who have enough to carry back to their car without trying to corral cans and bottles and styrofoam containers.
But I can't. I'm a realist. I've seen weekends at the beach up close. My husband Mick and I have photos taken at Martin County beaches and in two of its parks -- Sandsprit and Locks, for example -- Polaroid photos we took trying to humiliate slobs and reform doltish behavior. And that was when things like trash cans and garbage collections were de rigeur on all public-use property.
In the 1990s Mick and I actively volunteered with two different groups that monitored sea turtle nests on Martin and St. Lucie beaches. All of the turtles found in U.S. waters, incidentally, are federally listed as endangered, except for the loggerhead, which is threatened. We took the job seriously.
Martin County is justifiably proud of the efforts it makes to keep turtles and hatchlings safe.
But there isn't a serious turtle project in the world I know of that would approve of a county trash collection honor system -- which, as I said, is no trash collection at all.
Something like 100 million marine animals around the world are killed each year due to plastic debris in the oceans. That's a big number. More than 80 percent of this plastic comes from land. It washes out from our beaches and streets. It travels through storm drains into streams and rivers. It flies off of landfills. As a result, thousands of sea turtles accidentally swallow these plastics, mistaking them for food. Leatherbacks, especially, can't distinguish between floating jellyfish, a main component of their diet, and floating plastic bags.
My point is, of all sources of deadly plastic ingestion at sea, beaches are the easiest source to do something about. We can keep them clean. We have it in our power.
Martin County's motto is "Enjoy Our Good Nature." Knocking on residents' and visitors' consciences to pick up after themselves is hugely important, and I'm glad to hear more signs will be going up to that end, including notices of fines for littering.
But we are all custodians of public property, even county government. Officials who work on the taxpayers' dime can't wash their hands of that obligation.
Just seems to me Martin County's priorities in recent years are among the strangest in the state.
Filing umpteen lawsuits to pretend it's protecting its Comprehensive Plan is one thing. So is fighting a countywide septic-to-sewer system to help its rivers and estuary. Martin County does both, to the detriment of its citizens.
But letting its beaches go to the dogs and the pigs? I'd like to hear a little more 'splainin' on that one.
Doing away with trash cans is a dumb, dangerous, even destructive decision. It's one that Martin residents are going to be able to see and feel and maybe even smell in the hot summer sun. Very soon.
Reach Nancy Smith at nsmith@sunshinestatenews.com or at 228-282-2423. Twitter: @NancyLBSmith
