Right out of the box, Charlie Crist set the tone for a classic whatever-you-want-to-hear gubernatorial campaign.
Pandering after out-of-state trial attorneys' money -- as reported Monday by Jacksonville Times-Union columnist Matt Dixon -- Charlie scoffed at the harsh old term trial attorneyswhen referring to these big-hearted guys. Call 'em "caring people from across the country," he said with a perfectly straight, tanned face.
I'm not kidding. That's apparently what he said.
Trial attorneys = caring people from across the country.
I guess when they give to Charlie's campaign, they are.
While you and I might call trial attorneys something a little less kind, perhaps a little earthier -- I've heard ambulance chasers, paparazzi lawyers, mafia lawyers, latrine lawyers, sharks and the other word for porcupine quills -- Charlie's choice of words appeals to the warmer-fuzzier nature (and ego) of his target donors.
And can you blame him? This is trial attor ... uh, caring person John Morgan's turnpike billboard man, Charlie Crist. Maybe Charlie doesn't do a lick of trial work and can't remember the last time he was inside a courtroom. Fact is, he's been a good-soldier, cardboard-cut-out type of guy on those dozens of billboards for the best part of three years, and now it's time to cash in.
You bet your sweet bippy, he wants these out-of-state guys to be "caring people."
Remind me to ask Charlie, if trial attorneys, or personal injury lawyers, are so "caring" the country over, why do they take 30-to-40 percent of the settlements?
Charlie was clever Monday. He brought up fundraising by denying any interest in it ("I haven't set any fundraising goals yet"). Which begs one more question for Charlie:
Is his reference to "caring people from across the country" an admission that millions of dollars from out-of-state trial lawyers are headed to Florida? What do they want for the money theyre giving him?
"Caring people from across the country" -- Fairyland Phrase No. 1 as we skip down the long, yellow brick road toward Election 2014. I have a feeling I'll be compiling a "Best of ..." before next November rolls around.
Interesting campaign start for a fundraising, flopped-over Republican "caring" person without a goal. You know he had to be in a very weird place emotionally.
I almost felt sorry for Charlie Monday. Almost.
Reach Nancy Smith at nsmith@sunshinestatenews or at 228-282-2423.
